#thefightforhope – Erin Ulerich

When Younger Me Started Talking

This post is part of my Exploring Angkura series. Come behind-the-scenes with me as I introduce my newest project, Angkura: Hesed, my soon-to-be-released YA Christian Fantasy novel.

How’s your relationship with your younger self?

When my son was in sixth grade he had a pizza business. My parents owned a bakery, so they would help him make the pizza dough, put the pizzas together, and freeze them. He would sell them frozen from a deep freezer at our house.

A couple of years into his business, my son turned to me and said, “When I am working in the kitchen with Mama Lane and Pappy, I feel alive.” He paused and smiled. “I feel like I’m doing what I’m meant to do.”

In May we attended his Chef pinning ceremony and he asked Mama Lane to pin him. It was a beautiful full-circle moment. A moment where I realized that my son is still walking side by side with his younger self. He listened to that feeling of this is what I was made to do and pursued a degree in Culinary Arts. In that ceremony he could fist bump his younger self and say “Hey, we made it.” They will walk into the future together.

My relationship with my younger self is very different. I made choices in my teen years that I regret. I put my younger self into a perpetual time-out. She’d made too many mistakes and couldn’t be trusted.

I didn’t realize that’s what I had done until later. Life got busy and noisy with marriage, career and raising three kiddos. My younger self and her wounds were easy to ignore.

I began writing Angkura: Hesed as an adventure story for my children in 2014. In the beginning it was structured like a Magic Tree House book. Twelve chapters. The main characters were children. Non-stop action. In this early version, there were two older teens that represented me and my husband and three younger kids to represent our three children. But it wasn’t finished. The story wasn’t quite right.

The more I wrestled with the story, the more my character’s story rose to the top. And in the struggle I realized, it wasn’t my character, it was the voice of my younger self, the one I’d been ignoring all these years.

She wanted her voice back.

I did not welcome her with open arms. I was resentful about decisions she made years ago, and in the next few drafts of the story, her character was not very likeable. She was moody and angry. An early reader commented that she didn’t really like my main character.

That’s when I realized I didn’t either.

Then I read Running Away to Home by Reni Bumpas. Simply put, this book is about a young girl who made bad choices. Getting to know the main character and understanding her reasons for her terrible choices helped me feel compassion for the decisions made by my younger self. As I read this book, something happened.

Healing.

I began listening to my younger self, journaling her words. I began asking why we made the choices we did, and I listened to her answers for the first time.

After years of ignoring her, I embraced her. I forgave her. I forgave us. We began working together to shape Elizabeth’s character in Angkura: Hesed. Maybe that’s why it took me 12 years to write this book. I wasn’t just creating a world and a storyline, I was rebuilding myself.

Angkura:Hesed is our fist bump. It is our “Hey, we made it.” And I am looking forward to walking into the future with my younger self.

But there is also more to consider. My older self can look back along the span of my life and trace God’s redemption in spite of my foolishness and mistakes. I can see the beauty of the story He has been weaving this whole time. Older me can point out this beauty to younger me, because she hasn’t learned to see it yet.

Angkura:Hesed also honors the bigger story, the one God where God is weaving all of our stories together to accomplish His plans for redemption. This is where hope comes from. No matter the view from the moment where you and I are right now, we know that there is more. We know that God has good planned. This is how we walk through a broken world with hope.

We need both sides of ourselves.

Where are you today? Are you on speaking terms with your younger self? Our younger selves are messy, I know. But they have something to say, and we have something to teach them.

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Erin Ulerich lives and writes in a rural Mississippi community beside the beautiful Natchez Trace Parkway. She is the author of In Unexpected Ways: Christmas in Everyday Life, a devotional that encourages readers to notice God’s presence in the ordinary moments. Her first YA fantasy novel, Angkura:Hesed is coming soon. Connect with Erin at erinulerich.com

Connect with Erin at erinulerich.com, on Instagram and Facebook.

What Does Love Look Like?

This post is part of my Exploring Angkura series. Come behind-the-scenes with me as I introduce my newest project, Angkura: Hesed, my soon-to-be-released YA Christian Fantasy novel.

I used to be a hopeless romantic.

Between fairy tales with princesses searching for true love’s kiss, Sweet Valley High books in Junior High, and 80’s Rom-coms, I definitely had my ideas of what love should look like.

Sleeping Beauty is my favorite fairy tale because in this story the prince fights for the princess. He fought a fire-breathing dragon to rescue her.

He thought she was worth fighting for.

This shaped my definition of what love should look like: To be found worthy of fighting for.

What does love look like? is an important question because our answer drives the ways we think and act in every type of relationship. It determines our reactions when people treat us badly. It drives the way we treat others.

It is such an important question that I made it the theme of the first book in the Angkura series.

Before a YA reader picks up my book, they will already have an idea of what they think love should look like. They will probably have experienced betrayal of some kind, and I suspect they will have made some mistakes and need to know forgiveness and redemption are possible.

I can say this because we are all looking for worth, acceptance, love, and security in a broken world filled with broken people. The people in our lives don’t always fight for us, do they? Even those who love us sometimes step away when we need them most. Sometimes they look at the fire-breathing dragon and choose self-preservation instead. When that happens, we feel rejected and discarded. We hold onto destructive relationships in hopes that one day that person will see our worth.

The search for worth, acceptance, love, and security is not uncalled for. We were made to experience those things. We just look for them in the wrong places.

And that is where hesed comes in.

I was well into adulthood and parenthood when I discovered the word hesed. And I was stuck. Stuck in the gap between what God’s Word said and what I felt. God’s Word said He knew me, but I did not feel known. The Bible said I was chosen and cherished, but I was not feeling that at all. So in a moment of frustration, I told God exactly how I was feeling and asked Him to help me.

He used hesed to bridge the gap between His truth and my feelings.

Hesed is a beautiful Hebrew word. Simply put, it is God’s promise to show mercy and steadfast love to His people just because they belong to Him.

Hesed is love and action combined. Because God promises to love His people, He also promises to be loyal to them. It is faithfulness within relationship. God’s generous sense of compassion, grace, and mercy is at the heart of hesed.

Hesed is the prince picking up his sword and fighting the dragon to get to Sleeping Beauty. Hesed says I will fight for you because I love you. You are worth whatever the cost.

This grown-up little girl had been looking for that prince my entire life. I looked for him in friendships, in boyfriends, and in my marriage. I twisted myself into a human pretzel hoping to convince others that I was worth knowing and worth fighting for.

Hesed helped me see that I had it backwards. I was already chosen. I was already cherished. I already had a Prince that fought for me.

Hesed provides the things we are all searching for: worth, acceptance, love, and security because it points us to the place we were meant to find them. It points us to God. God’s love for His people is the perfect example of love.

This is what love looks like.

Discovering hesed bridged the gap between God’s truth and my feelings. It helped me see God’s tender, unfailing love for me and brought me into a closer relationship with Him. It changed the direction of my relationships. I didn’t put unrealistic expectations on those around me, because I was experiencing hesed with God.

Studying its meaning and pouring over the ways it is used in the Bible completely reshaped my definition of love. It grounded me, giving me the strength to push away the lies about my worth.

Since we are made in the image of God, we have the ability to show hesed to those around us. We can show mercy and forgiveness to someone who doesn’t deserve it. We can show compassion to those in need. Every healthy relationship we have mirrors an aspect of God’s hesed to us.

By the time a YA reader finishes my book, I hope they will know their worth and that this will guide them in their friendships and relationships. More importantly, I hope that they will have a deeper understanding of the depth and tenderness of God’s love toward them.

I am no longer a hopeless romantic, because hesed is filled with hope.

When God and Granny Clampett Agree on Vittles

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” Psalm55:22

On the Beverly Hillbillies, Granny was always offering people vittles, and usually the description of said vittles made people turn up their noses. But Granny’s heart was in the right place. She knew people needed food to live, and she loved providing for them.

Did you know that God gives us vittles too? Ok, it’s actually spelled victuals, though still pronounced vittles. But in Psalm 55:22, when it says He will sustain you, the word for sustain carries the idea of nourishing us, giving us food or provision. You know, victuals.

When he sustains us, He doesn’t give us just enough to keep our head above the water, He gives what we need to walk boldly in this broken world. He knows the difficulty of navigating circumstances and relationships. He walked through this world, and He understands.

How does that hit you today? Are you feeling overwhelmed, lost, or unseen? When we give our burdens to the Lord, He will hold us, guide us, hear us, be present with us.

And the word for cast? It carries the idea of throwing, hurling, to throw out, down, or away. It’s a very active word. The Lord invites us to hurl our burdens on him. To throw them away from us. To stop trying to carry them.

Casting our burdens on the Lord means we are trading the heaviness in our soul for abundant nourishment for our soul. We are trading anxiety for peace. We are trading fear for trust.

Casting off and trusting in God takes courage. It takes believing that God is who He says He is, and that He will keep His promise to sustain.

When we fling our arms out wide to cast our burdens on the Lord, we are then free to wrap our arms around Him. We cast so that we can cling.

As we cling to Him, He wraps His strong arms around us, and sustains us in every sense of the word. He isn’t stingy, like we sometimes secretly believe he is. He gives like a loving parent. He gives the vittles our soul needs in the deepest places.

#livingboldlyinabrokenworld isn’t easy, but it is possible. When storms swirl all around us, it’s difficult to keep our eyes fixed on God’s truth. I’ve gathered the truths that help me through the storms of life into a pdf, Truths that Anchor in the Storm. These verses aren’t lifeboats, pulling me out of the storm, they are anchors to help me stand inside the storm. I hope they will help you as well. Click on the side bar to receive your copy today.

Not the Way It’s Supposed To Be

When it comes to dealing with grief, God doesn’t leave us to our own strength or resources. He walks through it with us. Jesus felt the same “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be” feeling that we feel when He stood in front of Lazarus’ grave.

“This just feels wrong. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.”

I’ve said this many times in my life.

I said it in 8th grade when a friend committed suicide.

I said it when I watched Grandma sobbing beside the body of the man she’d loved her whole life, clutching his wedding band in her delicate hands.

I said it in 10th grade when I stood beside Pappaw’s grave, staring at the trees in the distance as the pastor spoke, clinching my fists to keep the tears from falling.

This time I was in my early 30’s sitting with my Daddy outside King Daughter’s Hospital in Yazoo City, MS where Grandma was losing her battle with Leukemia.

The familiar mixture of sorrow and anger welled up as I spit out the words.

Daddy put his arm around me while I sobbed. He waited until I was quiet, and in his deep gentle voice, he said, “Nothing about death is right. Death didn’t exist until sin entered the world. It doesn’t feel right because we weren’t made to experience death.”

Through the years I’ve often thought of Daddy’s statement. And now, as I am walking through another time of grief, the words come back to me. We weren’t made for this.

We weren’t made for this, yet we still experience it. What are we supposed to do since we don’t have the resources or strength within ourselves to walk through these shadows?

In His mercy, God doesn’t leave us to our own resources or strength. He walks through it with us. He put on our flesh, He put on our feelings, in order to be with us. And He felt this exact feeling as He stood in front of the grave of His friend Lazarus.

Jesus got mad, like we do when death strikes our loved ones. But He didn’t get angry at God, like we often do. He directed His anger at the source of the problem. He was angry at death and sin. And when He wept, He didn’t leak out a few tears or get a lump in His throat. He burst into tears.

He felt angry that the people He loved had to undergo such pain. He was indignant that sin dared to wreak such havoc. And He grieved. Rev. Wally Bumpus puts it this way. “Jesus was grieved at what death had done to the crown of God’s creation.”

Jesus was saying “This is not the way it is supposed to be.” He acknowledged the pain-filled reality.

Then He called His friend out of the grave.

Jesus felt the anger, the soul-deep turbulence that we feel when death invades our space. He is qualified to walk through grief with us. As the One who destroyed death by rising from the dead, He has the power to comfort us like no other.

Knowing that my Jesus felt this same “this isn’t right” feeling changes the way I handle my grief. Instead of trying to push it aside and ignore it, I can follow His example and acknowledge this pain-filled reality. My grief can be mingled with hope because the way things are now is not the way things will always be.

Because of Jesus, one day death will be fully dead, we will be fully alive, and things will be the way they are supposed to be for all eternity.

The Unfolding of the Ultimate Story

There has been a great wrestling going on in my soul.

Truth vs. feelings, hope vs. grief.

Even after writing such a hope-filled post, Restored Before the Face of God, there are moments when the grief and loss drown out hope.

My brain is still trying to wrap around the tragedy while my heart feels the great loss. Last week I sat in my home in Mississippi and watched the procession and funeral taking place in India. It was dark here while India had already moved on to the next day.

I watched men place their caskets into ambulance-type vehicles while people around them sang in their language. The video showed huge banners with their pictures covering each vehicle. As I read the quote on each banner, the wrestling within me intensified.

“My purpose in life is to serve the Lord by serving among His people and taking care of their health needs (in India).” – Sharron Naik

“I want to be a minister back in my country (India), like my dad and serve my Nation.” – Aaron Naik

“I want to go back to India and be involved with the law/politics and I want to spend my time defending the truth of Christianity and the Bible.” – Joy Naik

The wrestling grows stronger because I desperately want this tragedy to make sense. But nothing about this adds up. These three loved the Lord and had plans to go back to India to serve Him. They were part of the Banjara people group, a group where less than 1% are Christians. If we are talking about progress in spreading the Gospel, doesn’t it make more sense to have them alive, telling others about Christ? Were their hopes and dreams just a waste?

I know that I’m not the only one who is wrestling deep within. We live in a broken world and we all have circumstances in our lives where things don’t makes sense. Where 1+1=3 no matter how much we try to figure it out. In all the tears, the heart-wrenching wails, the fists clenched in anger, our soul wrestling comes down to one question:

What kind of God are You?

There.

I said it.

This is a question we might whisper over a coffee conversation with our closest friend, but we’d never ask it out loud at church. People typically don’t like questions like this, because it feels wrong to question God.

But I think God loves it when we ask this question.

When we get down to the rock-bottom, nitty-gritty and finally ask this question it is because all the things we’ve been leaning on, all the ideas we’ve created about God, have FAILED. It means that the god we’ve created in our image, the god that we work to please in hopes that he will love us or at least answer our prayers is POWERLESS. It means that, maybe for the first time, we are actually seeking God for who He says He is.

As we seek Him we can ask ALL the questions we need to ask. I have found that God doesn’t really match my “whys” with reasons. Instead He shows me more of who He is. Through my grief He shows me that He is the God of all comfort, that He really is near to the brokenhearted and is gentle with those who are hurting. He meets my needs, showing me that He provides for His children.

How do we seek God? Where can we find a clear picture of who He is and what He is like? We can find Him in the Word, because it contains His words to us about Himself. And through the Word made flesh, because Jesus shows us what God is like.

At Sharron, Aaron, and Joy’s funeral, Ravi Zacharias described God’s compassion through Jesus when He raised Lazarus from the dead.

“Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, and yet He stood in front of that tomb and wept. Why? Why did the Lord of Glory and the Lord of hope shed those tears? Because He knew what you and I would feel at the loss of a loved one, having to wait over a period of time before we would see the ultimate story revealed. He knew the pain that you and I would endure.”

Because of His compassion, God can strengthen and sustain us in our grief. “We have a suffering Savior, a wounded Savior, and for the wounded heart, the wounded Savior is the best answer, the best source of sustenance” (Ravi Zacharias)

Dr. Zacharias goes on to describe Jesus feeling abandoned by God when He was on the cross. “At the very moment He thought He was abandoned and forsaken, He was actually in the center of His Father’s Will, providing for you and for me, so that the greater death – which is spiritual death – would not be that which we endure.”

The very depth of Christ’s sufferings was the way that the Ultimate Story could happen. His suffering opened the way for our redemption and our eternal life with God, instead of eternal death removed from God.

“His Word abides forever and pulls the whole story together and all of the threads that may look desperate- it brings them together to a perfect design that He had in mind. Your young, precious children, Sharron, Joy, and Aaron. The threads were in God’s Hand, every day designed for them was already written in the Book before it ever came to be. He gave you the joy of having them for those few years. Three precious gems. They are now in the Presence of the Lord laying their treasures at His feet.” (Ravi Zacharias)

Hearing the truth proclaimed at the funeral service didn’t answer all my questions, but it did calm some of the wrestling as it brought my eyes back to God’s character, His love, and His perspective. His Ultimate Story is written in love with one goal in mind – bringing people into relationship with Himself. This tragedy, this loss, will be redeemed into a powerful, beautiful chapter as His story unfolds.

Fighting For Hope Through Waves of Grief

Missing Robert

Grief is a tricky beast. It hides and makes you think you’ve “dealt”, you’ve “moved on”, and then it hits out of nowhere like a tsunami on a sunny day.

We don’t talk about him very much, but we miss him.

I miss the way he said “Well, hello there!” when he called around this time each year to get ideas for the kids’ Christmas presents.

Over the past 2 years, there have been plenty of What ifs, plenty of What could have been done conversations, but the bottom line is that while he didn’t he make the choice to die from his drug use, he made the decision to use drugs.

He made the decision to refuse help. “No program is going to help me,” he said, and that is when I knew he had decided to stop fighting for hope.

It was a decision that defied logic. He had been clean for years, so many years that my children only knew the fun Uncle Robert.

The Uncle Robert who helped them catch fireflies in the summer and who shot a zillion fireworks with them on New Year’s Eve.

It was a decision that led down a dark path, a path filled with cover-ups, half truths, and out right lies.

It was a decision that robbed us of our brother, friend, uncle, and son.

It was also a decision borne out of a daily battle to stay on the right path, a million unseen, un-applauded decisions made over the years of being sober. A battle he fought on his own.

He didn’t have to fight alone. We, his family, would have loved to celebrate victories with him. We would have loved to applaud his successes.

But we didn’t see the burden he carried until it was too late.

By the time we saw, his mind had already been turned upside down. By then, he had bought the lie that our words of hope and encouragement hid ulterior motives and that his drug dealer friends were the only ones who could be trusted.

Isn’t that the biggest twist of irony?

The people cooking the poison that killed him had convinced him that he was no longer alone because they had rescued him when no one else would.

The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. That is the game plan he followed with Robert, and the story he seeks to write for all of us through all kinds of addictions. If our enemy can keep our focus on numbing the pain in our life, he keeps our focus off of living the life we were meant to live.

Life that gives hope, that looks forward to the future, that believes that change is possible.

So many of Robert’s years were marked by his struggle, but that struggle was not who he was. He was self-less to a fault, fun to be around, and he loved his kids. That’s the legacy I choose to remember.

At the same time, I can’t ignore his last months and days. They are filled with somber warning. They remind me that when I listen to the lies of the dark, when I give in to my own struggles and try to numb out, I am one decision away from stepping on the same path that stole him from us.

Helping Others Fight for Hope

I am excited to have Stefani Carmichael as a guest today. Not only is Stefani is one of the Hope Warriors in my life, she is also a Hope Warrior in the lives of the teen girls that live in her dorm.

She is gifted at helping the girls see the lies that they are believing, and encouraging them to replace those lies with truth. For some of these girls, she is the first person in their lives to teach them how to fight for hope, especially when their circumstances feel hopeless.

Stefani also blogs at heartsoulstrengthandmind.com , so be sure to jump over to her site and check it out.

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Helping Others Fight for Hope

What is harder than being in a black hole?

Harder than being in the middle of a fog in your life and not seeing your way out?

In my experience, the only thing harder than that is seeing those you love sink down into that pit and knowing you cannot pull them out.

Recognizing that you cannot pull someone out of the pit is really the first step of being able to help them. I learned this the hard way. If you will expend all your energy trying to pull them out, you might get pulled into it in the process.

At the same time, you can help someone who needs hope. You cannot force them to have hope. You can’t manhandle them into feeling better.

You can inspire, encourage, and support them in their fight. You are not Rocky Balboa, you are one of those in his corner.

I am approaching this topic with lessons I have learned through experience. In the process of gaining experience we often make mistakes along the way, and I certainly have. When I write about what not to do, it’s because I have probably done it at some point in my life. I hope anytime I have made mistakes in this area, that those battling with me will extend me grace and understand the heart I have had to help.

It would be incredibly difficult to help someone fight for hope if you have never been in a situation in which you felt hopeless. I imagine we have all been to that place, but if such a time doesn’t come to mind, you might first want to take a step back and remember.

When you remember the weight of your own battle, you will be better equipped to support someone in their own time of need.

This time of remembering prepares you to listen.

This sounds easy, but Iistening well is often the hardest part. When someone you love is in a pit, you want so much for them to be out and back to normal. You may be tempted to think you know what is wrong and just jump to solutions. Don’t.

You may even know what they need to do. You may even understand. But telling them is not going to get them where they need to be. Because someone who is hopeless is not going to automatically believe you know what you are talking about and can help them.

From their perspective, there is no way out.

From their perspective, things could probably not look any bleaker.

For them to listen to any suggestions or advice, they first have to know you understand the serious position they are in. You show them this by intently listening to them, rephrasing what they have said to make sure you really do understand.

This process is also essential, because you may not understand as much as you think you do. You may have experienced a similar situation, but that doesn’t mean that your pain is the same as their pain.

There is no timeline for how long you stay in this stage with someone. There may be a lot of listening involved with some people before they believe you understand.

It may take one conversation or several before you get to the point to move forward.

When you understand well, it is time to share. The point of sharing is not to say, “That’s nothing, look at all I have been through.” Its not to compare pain. If it comes off looking this way to the person who is struggling, it will do more harm than good.

The point of sharing is to let the other person know you also have suffered in your life, and while it may have been a very different situation, you found your way out of the suffering.

This is the point where you can begin to offer hope.

The hope comes in the message that if you walked through the blackness and found yourself back in the light, against all appearances, they also can find themselves in the light again.

This doesn’t have to come from just your story. The Bible is full of stories of those who were in seemingly hopeless situations, sometimes for a very long time, before God’s deliverance.

The stories of Abraham, Joseph, the Israelites in the wilderness, Ruth, Esther, Nehemiah, and countless others attest to incredibly bleak situations that did not remain bleak.

God’s word provides encouragement to those who are in the middle of dark places. These stories entailed long periods of difficulty and do not look anything like the band-aid fixes people often offer those in the middle of serious struggles.

People in the middle of difficulty don’t need to be led into a false hope that everything will change quickly. They need a surer hope that keeps them moving when they do not see the end of their struggle in sight.

They need the hope of a 75-year-old Abraham who still doesn’t have the child of promise and won’t for over 20 more years. They need the hope of Joseph whose troubles did not end with his promotion as a slave, or even when the chief cupbearer was restored to his position. They need the hope of Esther who saw a 360 degree change from complete despair to rejoicing overnight.

Point them to the Hope-Giver

All these stories offer hope because situations changed dramatically. Dark situations are so pivotal, because in the middle of them we can give ourselves over to despair if we let ourselves.

The stories above do not simply offer hope because they show that we might find our situation change if we just keep going. They offer hope because the people in these situations have a relationship with the Hope-Giver.

The God who we can trust, who has the power to change things for our good gives hope, because he is the only one who can really change our darkest situations.

At the beginning, I wrote how understanding that you can’t pull someone out of their dark pit is essential in offering hope. But, it is also essential to understand that God can.

God is fully able to change things. And he gives promises to do just that. When a fellow brother or sister in Christ is in the pit, you can offer hope-giving promises to them.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

This verse is used so much for a very good reason. It has inspired people in their darkest hours for centuries. If you love God, this verse is a message of hope for you. Its not a band-aid to stick on a problem. It shouldn’t be thrown to someone before you have sat with them in their grief. All of Romans 8 is an encouragement to those who suffer deeply. If you read it through in entirety you see in verse 38 that this promise meant for the most difficult of situations:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38

We are hearing this from a man who is currently under house arrest, has faced beatings and being pelted with stones. He has survived a shipwreck and has a perpetual “thorn in the flesh.” Paul knows suffering when he writes this.

Do something Tangible

God’s sovereignty is a huge comfort, but it is not an excuse for inaction. You know you can’t lift someone from their pit, but you can help.

The good Samaritan did not pass by, and if our heart is aligned with God’s heart, neither will we.

Pray and ask God to show you what you can do in the person’s situation. It may be as small as flowers, or as big as getting church leaders involved to help someone financially beyond what you are capable. Sometimes there are actions we can do to help another significantly in their distress. While you don’t want to enable destructive patterns, there is a time and place for significant help.

Tangible assistance can also be things that help with their mental battle—these things need not be physical. Perhaps they are believing lies that are destructive. Have them write them out on paper, and then work with them to change each lie to a true statement that offers hope.

Walk with them

Finally, stay in the picture. Hope warriors are in a battle. Don’t just show up for the first round of the fight, stick around to see the victory.

They may need help planning steps in the right direction. Have them write out their goals and see if there are proactive steps they can take now to move in that direction. Help them plan those steps in, and cheer for them when they get past an obstacle or do something that leads them in the right direction.

There will be days when they will struggle again. They will need fresh encouragement along the way. We are all works in progress, but thankfully God’s work in us will one day be complete.

Pray

Throughout the entire process, pray. God is the one who can change things. He is the one who can give hope. He is the one who can give wisdom both to you and to the one struggling. Cry out to him, and rely on the promises he gives to his children.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Stefani Carmichael is an author, counselor, wife, daughter, mom and houseparent of teenage girls. She blogs at heartsoulstrengthandmind.com

Fighting for Hope When Things Don’t Make Sense

When the kids were little they would often say, “Mama, tell me a story!”

I would begin, “Once upon a time there were three little pigs. One built his house out of LEGOs, one built his house out of candy…”

“That’s not the way the story goes!” The kids would giggle. Or, if they weren’t in silly moods, they would cross their arms and grouch. “No! Tell it right.”

It was fun to mix up the stories. But these day I feel like I am in a story that isn’t going the way I think it should.

As I look through the Bible, I see that I’m not alone. God has always had a way of doing unexpected things. He often chose the smallest, the weakest, the most unusual way.

He promised Abraham that he would be the father of a great nation when Abraham and Sarah were too old to even have children. And then had them wait for years before Isaac was born.

He put David, the young shepherd boy, against the giant Goliath holding only a sling and a few stones.

I love reading these accounts in the Bible. I love the way God shows His power through these situations. But living out these types of stories in the year 2017 is another matter altogether. When the events are happening In real time it’s harder to trace the hand of God through the shadowy twists and turns.

In the midst of these shadows my heart whispers, “This isn’t the way the story goes, is it, God?”

And in the midst of my confusion, even as I’m questioning God, I am looking in the right direction.

When I don’t understand what God is doing, I can lean toward Him and ask. And I have. In the dark of night, in the light of day, I have asked question after question.

I’m sure you have, too.

I fully believe God can handle our asking, our ranting, our anger. I’ve found that when I seek Him, He answers gently, not through direct answers to my questions, but in revealing more about Himself.

These times make me ask Do I really know God? Do I know Him for who He says He is or do I know the version I’ve made up?

Because in these confusing times, the version we make up isn’t going to stand. These confusing times cause us to question God, to really look at Him, maybe for the first time.

He knows we don’t really need “because” statements to match our “whys”. We need Him.

Knowing God leads to trust. The more we know Him, and the more we know His tender love for us, the more we can trust His Hand in our lives.

And as I fix my gaze on who He is and who I am to Him, I find that I can trust Him with the unknown. I find that I can say, “I don’t know why this is happening, but I do know You. And I will trust what You are doing.” I can cling to his promise of His steadfast love and plentiful redemption.

Because at the heart of God, is this:

For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. (Colossians 1:19-20, ESV)

At the heart of God, the driving force behind His actions is to reconcile, to restore. To bring His people before His face. He works in and through the brokenness of this world to bring about wholeness in Him. Through the grief, through the tragedy, we can track His heart.

What does this matter? How does it connect with fighting for hope?

My measure of God is the measure of my hope. If I believe God is small, powerless, unable to save – my hope will be, at best, based on my current mood.

But if I see His majesty and power, in Scripture and in my life, my hope will be an anchor that keeps me steady in spite of mood or circumstance.

Hope that anchors reminds us of His promises. Hope that anchors reminds us of His character. Hope that anchors reminds us who we are to Him. This hope gives us strength to continue fighting, even when things don’t make sense.

Reaching Out and Fighting Doubt

If God’s vision for the helpless includes you and me, where do we even begin?

Let’s start with those doubting thoughts niggling away in your mind. I know, I had them too. But God placed a child and her adoptive process right in front of me. I wanted to be involved, and God wanted me to wade through these doubts and watch Him provide.

Doubt #1: If I can’t solve the problem, why even try? I wrote about wrestling with this question in the post Stretching Out a Hand of Relief.

Doubt #2: It’s such a big problem. 153 millions orphans! What can one person do to make a difference? Not much on their own. But one person can join with others who are reaching out by:

Supporting Organizations Reaching Out To Orphans & Children in Difficult Situations

Heritage Ukraine – Odessa, Ukraine

Read more about the amazing ministry of Heritage Ukraine in the post

Heritage Ukraine: A Light in Dark Places

Hispanola Mountain Ministries – Haiti and the Dominican Republic

French Camp Academy – French Camp, MS

Sponsoring Children in Difficult Situations

Hope for the Fatherless– Ethiopia

Compassion International

Cross Mountain Mission Legacy Centers – Nicaragua

Providing funding for homes for orphans who are too old to live in the orphanage.

Orphan Mission Transition Homes – Ukraine

Jeremiah’s Hope – Hope Market

Considering adoption

Walking beside a family in the adoption process.

The adoption process is filled with mountains of paperwork, moments of doubt, and uncertainty that all will work out. An adoptive family needs a network of friends who will pray for them, encourage them, and help them raise the necessary finances.

This post tells the story of an adoption process our family was incredibly blessed to be a part of: FIshes, Loaves, and Cookie Dough

Suffering & God’s Sovereignty

♥ ♥ Day 6 ♥ ♥

God’s view of suffering

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (John 9:1-3)

In His Sovereignty, God gave this man the condition of blindness at birth. He was unable to change his situation without God’s direct intervention.

In the suffering we see and experience, we don’t have Jesus standing there, explaining the purpose for the suffering. In fact, in the moment, it is very hard to see how suffering can bring God glory.

In Growing Your Faith, Jerry Bridges sums up three truths God’s Word teaches us about God and our adversities in this way:

God is completely sovereign. God is infinite in wisdom. God is perfect in love. God in His love always wills what is best for us. In His wisdom, He always knows what is best. And in His sovereignty, He has the power to bring it about.

These assurances can change the way we react to suffering. They give us the ability to look for evidence of God working in the darkness. They give us confidence to pray God’s words back to Him.

We can respectfully say, “Your Word says that You are the helper of the fatherless. It says that You have not forsaken the needy.” And we can pray for God to act.

In His Sovereignty He places each of us right where we are.

In His Sovereignty He uses suffering in our stories to bring us to Himself.

What is God’s view of suffering? What is His goal?

Romans 8:28

Psalm 40:1-3

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Romans 5:1-11

James 1:2-4

1 Peter 1:3-7

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This is Day 6 of The Hope of the Helpless, a 7-day devotional I wrote as a guide for praying for orphans.

The Hope of the Helpless walks us through God’s heart for the helpless, His vision for their future, and His gracious invitation to join Him in caring for them.

In honor of the International Day of Prayer for Orphans, I am posting a devotional from The Hope of the Helpless each day this week.

I am looking forward to your responses, to having real conversations about orphan care, and to talking through your questions.

If you would like to receive these posts directly to your inbox, subscribe to my mailing list on the sidebar.