God’s love – Page 6

The Mystery That Changes Everything

There’s mystery surrounding Christmas. No matter what age you are, there are things that just can’t be explained through logic.

When we are little we want to know how Santa gets presents to all the kids in the world in one night. As we grow older we sing about joy and yearn for peace on earth, especially at Christmas. But how can there be peace when the world is so broken?

But there is a mystery that trumps them all because it. changes. everything.

Jesus, fully God and fully man.

The words feel a bit abstract even as we sing about it.

Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing… (O Come All Ye Faithful)

So wrap our injured flesh around You, Breathe our air and walk our sod Rob our sin and make us holy, Perfect Son of God (Welcome to Our World)

But it is a mystery worth exploring.

In the first chapter of John, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…”

John calls Jesus the Word made flesh.

The Word of God has a very specific job and an all- encompassing reach.

^“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:22)

In his commentary on Hebrews, John Calvin says “This means that it [the Word] tests the whole soul of a man. It inquires into his thoughts and it searches his will and all his desires. It means that there is nothing so hard or firm in a man, nothing so deeply hidden that the efficacy of the Word does not penetrate through to it.”

God has given His Word the task of penetrating to the most secret thoughts of the heart.

In His interactions with people Jesus, the Word made flesh, did exactly that. He brought the thoughts from the innermost recesses of people’s hearts out into the light.

He was gentle with those who were struggling, with those who didn’t even know they needed Him until He spoke to them.

He challenged the thoughts of those who thought they had God figured out.

The Word was God and the Word became flesh. God became flesh.

Colossians also speaks of this mystery.

In Him the fullness of God was pleased to dwell. (Colossians1:19) He is the exact image of the invisible God. (Colossians1:15)

Jesus reveals the Father to us. Through Jesus we see the invisible God.

And at the same time that Jesus is fully God, He is also fully human.

My mind cannot wrap around this. How is this even possible?

How does the infinite fit inside the finite? How does the limitless dwell inside the limited without overpowering or replacing it?

How did He who upholds the universe by the word of His power come as an infant who could only cry to make His needs known?

The how is a mind boggling. The why is a life-changer.

Why would He do this? Why would He leave the perfection of Heaven to wrap our flesh around Him and walk through life in this messy, broken world?

“Christ has put on our feelings along with our flesh, not only to show Himself to be truly man, but to be taught by that very experience how to help our miseries; and that, not because as Son of God He needed such instruction, but because only thus could we grasp the concern He has for our salvation. Whenever we are laboring under the infirmities of our flesh, let us bear in mind that the Son of God has experienced them too, to encourage us by His power in case we are overwhelmed by them.” (Calvin’s New Testament Commentaries, Hebrews and 1&2 Peter)

He did this to show us the depth of His love, grace, and mercy toward us.

This love, grace, and mercy is described in Hebrews 4:12-16.

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

He fought the battles we face – each one of us – and he WON! – not to gloat over us, but to say “I know the battle. Come closer and find your strength in Me. Come, and receive forgiveness. Take my hand and I will fill you with hope. Come to the throne of grace in your time of need, with confidence, to find help.”

I don’t know about you, but when I am struggling, when I give in to temptation, I want to hide, especially from God. Adam and Eve hid. We hide. But God has made a way for us to come to Him. We don’t have to hide.

I love the language of this verse.

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

We have weaknesses, and God is not surprised by this at all. Even as we struggle in those weaknesses, we can come to Him and find mercy and grace.

Mercy addresses our need for forgiveness. Grace is the power He gives to sustain us in the midst of temptation.

The why of this mystery is found right here.

Jesus is with us, so we are not alone. He gives us power to fight temptation, so we can say no to sin. He offers forgiveness when we do fail and gives us strength to get back up on our feet.

None of this was possible before Jesus came. And none of this would have been possible if Jesus was not 100% God and 100% man.

Before Jesus came there was a distance between God and His people, even in worship. God addresses our sin and bridges this distance through the person of Jesus.

So what difference does Jesus make? What difference does it make that He was fully God and fully man?

The difference between distance and embrace, the difference between our weakness and His grace.

**********************************************

This post is part of my December Facebook Live series, “What Difference Does Jesus Make?” Please join me on my writer’s Facebook page, Erin Ulerich, on Wednesdays in December. I’ll be live at 6:00 a.m. CST, but the video will be available to watch whenever you can. I am looking forward to connecting with you in these few moments of sanity during December.

I am giving away this spunky little mug through a drawing. To be the lucky recipient of this mug, all you have to do is comment on the Wednesday videos. Let me know what you found encouraging or challenging during the video. Each week that you comment I will put your name in the drawing.

Jesus Is With Us In Our Joy and Our Pain

God’s desire from the beginning has been fellowship. To be with us.

God walked with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. Face to face. When sin entered the world, that relationship was broken, but God’s desire did not change. Throughout the Old Testament His heart cry is repeated, “I will be their God and they will be my people.”

This desire is also found in the language surrounding the reason God offers us salvation through relationship with Him, “They shall see him face to face.”

That’s the goal. Connection. Intimacy. God created each one of us with the need for connection, the need to know and be known by Him.

And then he opened the folds of time and stepped into our world as one of us. Jesus, Immanuel, which means God with us.

With us. Not watching from a distance. Not a kind but powerless force hovering around us. With us, experiencing life in this broken world.

Jesus knows the pull of this world on our heart. He experienced every emotion that we have felt or will ever feel. And he has experienced one emotion that we will never experience – abandonment by God.

We often feel alone, I’m not discounting that. But the reality is that God has promised to be with us and to never forsake us. Jesus willingly experienced complete abandonment on the cross in order to offer us peace with God.

Why is God being with us important? What difference does it make?

We have an enemy that works overtime to make us feel isolated, misunderstood, abandoned. He knows that when we feel alone and vulnerable, we are more apt to listen to his lies. We were made for connection and intimacy, so when we feel alone it is easy for our hearts to make this false conclusion: I am not known, therefore I am not loved.

Jesus is with us, out of love for us, to draw us into relationship with Him. In Jesus we are known, loved, connected – the very things we were created to experience.

Because Jesus experienced life in our skin, He is with us in our joy and in our pain.

Pain is part of living in this broken world. We feel pain on many different levels, and we usually work hard to avoid pain on every level. We avoid it by staying busy, numbing out on Netflix, eating, not eating, drinking alcohol, shopping, working, working out, the list is endless. We want to avoid pain so much that we even take good things and twist them to keep numb instead of stopping and looking our pain in the eye.

And the main problem with all the numbing that we do is this truth: We were not made to live life numb. We were made to push through the fear, look our pain square in the eye, and live life in full.

Does that sound scary? You bet.

But we don’t do it alone.

Jesus stands with us when we face our pain. He guides us into healthy ways of living and thinking and acting. His resources are not limited, and He will provide what we need to face our pain.

On the podcast This Good Word With Steve Wiens, Seth Haines says this on the episode called Inner Sobriety.

“The foundational question is, Can I sit in my pain and feel it without needing to eat, drink, do whatever, look at porn? Can I sit in that pain, can I invite Christ into that pain and then can I cultivate a prayerful imagination of what it looks like for Christ to walk in that pain with me?”

What is your pain? Can you imagine Jesus speaking into your pain? What do you think He would say?

We are not alone in our pain. Jesus stepped from the perfection of heaven into the broken chaos of this world to walk with us. Our God is with us every step of the way.

And what a difference that makes!

*********************************************

Please join me on my writer’s Facebook page, Erin Ulerich, on Wednesdays in December as we explore the question “What difference does Jesus make?” I’ll be on live (and attempting to speak in complete sentences) at 6:00 a.m. CST, but the video will be available to watch whenever you can. My prayer is that in those moments our hearts will lean toward Jesus in adoration and praise. My hope is that we will enter our day stronger and more peaceful.

O come let us adore Him.

What Difference Does Jesus Make?

Fighting for hope is my all-time favorite subject to write about. Hope is talked about a lot at Christmas, so I could probably back off on the talk of battle, right? Come on, lighten up. Do we have to keep fighting for hope, even during the most wonderful time of the year?

Most definitely.

I have found that holidays seem to amplify daily struggles. It may be that we are busier than usual, but I think it’s also because we have these expectations of happiness, peace, and perfection – standards that we don’t require our every-day lives to meet.

We have these hopes that just for a moment life will balance in perfect peace and harmony, you know, like they do in the Hallmark Christmas movies. We want our meals to look Instagram perfect, and our Christmas craft projects to make it on Pintrest, and not on the Pintrest fail website.

So with all this pressure, it’s not surprising that we struggle during the holidays.

What’s your top holiday struggle?

My biggest struggle at Christmas is remembering why we are celebrating and how that connects to my every-day life. To be honest, it gets lost under the mad dash of secret Santa presents, real presents, school programs, parties, decorating, luncheons, get-togethers, and the pressure to somehow stay in budget.

My joy gets lost in the busyness and I have trouble remembering that Christmas is really about Jesus coming to earth, experiencing life in this broken world, and making a way for us to be in relationship with God.

God opened the folds of time and stepped into our world as one of us. It’s unheard of. It’s mind-blowing. And yet, even as I’m writing this, it feels far away.

I want things to be different this year.

So my Christmas gift to myself (and you) is a few moments on Facebook Live in the early morning of each Wednesday of December. Let’s grab a cup of coffee (if you’d like) and focus for just a little bit on this question: “What difference does Jesus make?” My prayer is that in those moments our hearts will lean toward Jesus in adoration and praise. My hope is that we will enter our day stronger and more peaceful.

Please join me on my writer’s Facebook page, Erin Ulerich, on Wednesdays in December. I’ll be live at 6:00 a.m. CST, but the video will be available to watch whenever you can. I am looking forward to connecting with you in these few moments of sanity during December.

O come let us adore Him.

Soul Care: The Heart of our Badass

Soul Care gets to the heart of who we are and what we believe. And it’s important, because we aren’t just bodies that need rest and food. We are whole people, made up of mind, body, and soul, and each part of us needs attention.

Soul Care is connected to our badass because what we believe guides the way we live. Without taking care of our souls, our badass becomes a blustery take-it-or-leave-it, I’m-on-my-own attitude. But it’s really hard to sustain courage, strength and resolve based on our own bluster.

When life takes the wind out of my sails and I’m left thinking Wait, what just happened here? the state of my soul guides my actions.

This subject takes some thinking over, especially if we aren’t used to paying attention to the care of our soul. To help with this, I’ve included the transcript of the video below the video.

I would love your feedback on this section of Back to Badass: Living Life with Courage, Strength, and Resolve.

In this series we’ve talked about taking care of our body through getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and exercise. The fourth area of getting back to badass focuses on taking care of our soul.

I have found in my journey that when I spend time learning about God and about His love for me, it helps me feel balanced, it fuels my fight for hope, and it gives me a foundation for my badass.

Fighting for hope is a trait we share across the globe and have shared through the centuries. No matter how dark our world gets people cling to hope.

I believe that we are drawn to hope, our hearts crave hope, because we were created by the God of hope. He made us for hope, He gave us the ability to hope, and He is the source of lasting hope. And lasting hope is what we need as we push against the darkness in our lives. Lasting hope is bigger than we are because it is grounded in God’s nature and character.

If He created us for hope, it makes sense to get to know Him and find out more about the hope He can give.

How does this connect with getting back to badass? Remember our definition: Badass is a feeling of courage, strength, and resolve. Soul care gives us a foundation for that feeling. Feelings change so easily and our circumstances can change in a heartbeat. And that makes it difficult to hold on to that feeling of courage, strength, and resolve. But the more I learn about God and His love for me – His love that never changes – it gives me steady footing.

If lasting hope is grounded in God’s nature and character, then we can experience this hope by getting to know Him. We come face to face with Him in His Word. Through the pages of the Bible we read what He says about who He is, who we are, and how much He wants to be in relationship with us.

In Soul care, two of the most important questions we can ask ourselves are:

How do I view God? and How do I believe God views me?

We live much of our live based on the answers to these questions.

For a large portion of my life I thought God was distant, disappointed in me, and loved me because He had to. I got the picture that Jesus was a reluctant Savior. As a result, I alternated between feeling like I could never measure up, so why try, and working hard doing good things to try to earn God’s love.

This yo-yo-ing back and forth was exhausting. I finally hit a point where I asked myself, Is what I believe about God accurate or am I just repeating what others have said through the years? So I started looking in the Bible for the words and phrases God uses to describe who He is, and the words and phrases He uses to describe what He thinks about me.

The Bible is more than a book. It is God’s words, saying this is Who I am, this is how much I love you, and this is what I’ve made you for.

And what I’ve found is that God loves me fiercely and wants His best for me. And, at the same time, sometimes His best comes through difficult times. But in those difficult times He is with me and He gives me the courage, strength, and resolve to keep going.

We tend to define God’s love based on our circumstances. If things are good, God must love me, if things are bad, He must be mad at me. But the difficult times are times when we can run toward God and toward His truth and find our courage, strength, and resolve in Him.

Badass rooted in God doesn’t waver with circumstance. Because He is steady, we can rest our feet firmly on Him. Because He is steady, we can believe beautiful truths like : I am loved because God loves me. I am not alone because God is with me. I have worth because God made me for purpose.

Finding my worth in Him gives me courage to do big, scary things. And when darkness does close in, having my hope in God gives me the resolve to keep on going.

Soul care helps us walk in courage, strength, and resolve in spite of our circumstances and in spite of how we might feel.

The Action Point for today is to answer those two important questions:

How do you view God and How you do believe He views you?

The answers to those questions really do shape our lives.

I would love to know your thoughts on soul care. Do you have books or resources that help you in this area?

I am so glad to be on this journey with you!

When Hope Is Tender

I have the privilege of working at French Camp Academy, a Christian home and boarding school tucked away on the Natchez Trace. My favorite part of working here is getting to know the students.

Our students typically come from difficult home situations. Many of them wrestle with the darkness in their stories, not wanting that darkness to become their identity. So fighting for hope happens here little by little, on a daily basis.

Kat is one of the students I’ve gotten to know this year. I am so proud of her for wanting to share a little of her story.When I read Kat’s words, I see a Hope Warrior being formed.

Hope. Most of the time we don’t think about that word. I had hope to be adopted. I had hope to be loved. Most of the time we hope to make an A or get that job. Sometimes we hope to make that team or get that car.

I had hoped God could change me. He sure did.

I was struggling at home. We were looking for a godly getaway. We found FCA. I hoped it would be good and It was! I love it there.

That is hope.

-Kat, 7th grade

Sexual Addiction: Two Sides of the Coin

Sometimes there is no script for the things that happen to us in life. We don’t know what to do, so we try to figure it out on our own and just cope. Many times the way that we cope with life events leads us into addictions or into a relationship with an addict.

Addictions happen when we try to numb the pain in our life. We become addicted to the few moments of relief from the pain, and continue to seek out the thing or person that gave us that relief.

Addiction means – the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice. The Latin stem of the word actually means a giving over; to surrender. (dictionary.com)

It is surrendering to the darkness in our life.

Addiction of any kind operates in darkness and fills us with shame, but sexual addiction seems to be controlled by it. Shame is the voice that whispers mean things because it doesn’t want us to come out of the dark. It is a deadly fungus that grows stronger in silence and fear. It covers us like a raincoat so that we can’t feel God’s love raining down on us. It convinces us that hope, joy, forgiveness, and peace are great ideas – for everyone except us.

But here’s the truth about shame. It cannot survive in the light. It will threaten, howl, whine and beg us to stay cowered down in the darkness. But once we step into the light and share our story with others, its death grip begins to loosen.

Out in the light we can hear truth, we can feel God’s love, we can experience compassion from others who are also struggling. We can see that change is possible.

Fighting for hope often feels impossible when addiction is involved, no matter which side of the coin we are on. The truth is the more we fight for hope, the more warrior-like we become.

Hope Warriors push against the darkness, yelling “You will not win!” into the hopelessness that hangs over us like a fog. Hope Warriors let loose that war cry “What you meant for evil, God will use for good!”

Hope Warriors know that whatever is going on right now as you read this, the last chapter has not been written. There is still hope and it is worth fighting for.

Hope begins growing when we realize that the ways we’ve coped and acted all these years are not helping us. It continues to grow as we discover different tools and resources that help us. I want to share two resources with you today.

Forest Benedict writes to men and women stuck in sexual addiction in his book, Life After Lust.

He offers hope and practical direction as he shares his own story of addiction and recovery. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Sexual Addiction Treatment Provider (SATP-C) living in Fresno, CA.

Forest shares the first chapter of his book here.

It is available in digital or paperback through Amazon. Click here to order.

Intimate Treason by Claudia Black, PHD and Cara Tripodi, LCSW is written to women and men who are partners of sex addicts.

“Those who act out sexually – whether through pornography, cybersex, prostitution, voyeurism, and/or multiple affairs – leave their partners reeling in rage, incredible shame, and isolation. In this taboo-shattering and practical guidebook, partners affected by sex addiction can learn to develop healthy boundaries and make positive changes in their lives. The skills-building exercises presented are designed to help partners better understand the disease of addiction and how it is affecting their relationship. Intimate Treason provides a path to healing that gives voice to partners’ truth as they travel on their own journey of recovery.” (summary on back cover)

Intimate Treason is also available through Amazon. Click here to order.

Sexual addiction is like a monster tornado swirling in the middle of a relationship. Although both partners are experiencing the harmful wind and hurling debris, they are each experiencing the tornado in completely different ways. If you or someone you love have been impacted by sexual addiction on either side of the coin, these resources could provide the first step on the road to recovery. Silencing shame and walking in the light takes courage and tenacity, and it brings out the Hope Warrior in us.

Hope is worth fighting for!

Both of these resources are available on Amazon. The links I’ve provided are Amazon Affiliate links, which doesn’t change the price of the resources, but it helps me as an Amazon Affiliate.

Hope Warrior Bracelets

Getting a second opinion is never fun. Sitting in the waiting room until they call your name is nerve-wracking. If left unchecked, my mind will run through all the possible what ifs and quickly decide there is no good outcome.

But this time, I had backup.

I glanced down at my cowboy boots, which make me feel brave, and a bit sassy. Then I placed my hand on the bracelet surrounding my wrist. I smiled as I remembered the words on the thin silver band: Hope Warrior.

I love this bracelet because it has one of my favorite phrases on it, but also because it reminds me that I can walk through unknowns like second opinions. It reminds me that I have the strength to do difficult things. It reminds me that my hope is anchored in the most capable Hands.

The Hope Warrior bracelet is one of 5 in a collection. These bracelets look great worn separately or together.

Hope Warrior, Ezer, Love Warrior

You Are Enough Bracelet

Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit Bracelet

Be Brave, Be Fearless Bracelet

She Who Is Brave Is Free Bracelet

The words we speak to ourselves convince us who we really are.

These bracelets are listed on Amazon. I’ve included a link to each bracelet. Clicking on these links will not change the price for you, but will help me as an Amazon Affiliate.

While this is true: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to proved a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

I want you to know: I will only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers in their own fight for hope.

Fighting for Hope When Things Don’t Make Sense

When the kids were little they would often say, “Mama, tell me a story!”

I would begin, “Once upon a time there were three little pigs. One built his house out of LEGOs, one built his house out of candy…”

“That’s not the way the story goes!” The kids would giggle. Or, if they weren’t in silly moods, they would cross their arms and grouch. “No! Tell it right.”

It was fun to mix up the stories. But these day I feel like I am in a story that isn’t going the way I think it should.

As I look through the Bible, I see that I’m not alone. God has always had a way of doing unexpected things. He often chose the smallest, the weakest, the most unusual way.

He promised Abraham that he would be the father of a great nation when Abraham and Sarah were too old to even have children. And then had them wait for years before Isaac was born.

He put David, the young shepherd boy, against the giant Goliath holding only a sling and a few stones.

I love reading these accounts in the Bible. I love the way God shows His power through these situations. But living out these types of stories in the year 2017 is another matter altogether. When the events are happening In real time it’s harder to trace the hand of God through the shadowy twists and turns.

In the midst of these shadows my heart whispers, “This isn’t the way the story goes, is it, God?”

And in the midst of my confusion, even as I’m questioning God, I am looking in the right direction.

When I don’t understand what God is doing, I can lean toward Him and ask. And I have. In the dark of night, in the light of day, I have asked question after question.

I’m sure you have, too.

I fully believe God can handle our asking, our ranting, our anger. I’ve found that when I seek Him, He answers gently, not through direct answers to my questions, but in revealing more about Himself.

These times make me ask Do I really know God? Do I know Him for who He says He is or do I know the version I’ve made up?

Because in these confusing times, the version we make up isn’t going to stand. These confusing times cause us to question God, to really look at Him, maybe for the first time.

He knows we don’t really need because statements to match our whys. We need Him.

Knowing God leads to trust. The more we know Him, and the more we know His tender love for us, the more we can trust His Hand in our lives.

And as I fix my gaze on who He is and who I am to Him, I find that I can trust Him with the unknown. I find that I can say, “I don’t know why this is happening, but I do know You. And I will trust what You are doing.” I can cling to his promise of His steadfast love and plentiful redemption.

Because at the heart of God, is this:

For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. (Colossians 1:19-20, ESV)

At the heart of God, the driving force behind His actions is to reconcile, to restore. To bring His people before His face. He works in and through the brokenness of this world to bring about wholeness in Him. Through the grief, through the tragedy, we can track His heart.

What does this matter? How does it connect with fighting for hope?

My measure of God is the measure of my hope. If I believe God is small, powerless, unable to save – my hope will be, at best, based on my current mood.

But if I see His majesty and power, in Scripture and in my life, my hope will be an anchor that keeps me steady in spite of mood or circumstance.

Hope that anchors reminds us of His promises. Hope that anchors reminds us of His character. Hope that anchors reminds us who we are to Him. This hope gives us strength to continue fighting, even when things don’t make sense.

On Extractions and the Rich Power of Words

I want to welcome Tammy Gonzalez to the blog today. I love the way her story reminds us of the power of words – the negative ones we speak to ourselves and the life-giving ones we receive from others. Tammy is a fellow Hope*Writer. Be sure to connect with her in the links below.

These days, I tend to wonder about a lot of things.

In part, this is due to my age and stage in life.

In part, it’s due to experiences of this past year.

And in part it comes, quite simply, from the pervasive hopelessness that seems to overtake me more often than not.

Caught in waves of questions, guilt, and self-condemnation, I wonder if I’ll ever get past this, if I’ll ever be able to embrace grace and move forward, and if I’ll ever really and truly be able to offer something of value to those around me. I’ve been frozen, unable to concentrate well. And all too often I’ve hidden myself in games of Spider Solitaire rather than allow my mind to explore the rough and ragged areas of life that I’m trying to avoid.

But at least—and this is huge—I can now read again.

For a while, it was all I could do to take in a short blogpost. Finally, though, words penned by authors as diverse as Henri Nouwen and Shauna Niequist have begun to make their way into my soul, resonating with some of my deeper places and helping me to see beyond the desolation that has seemed intent on consuming me these past several months.

And believe it or not, an infected tooth was the catalyst for this step forward.

I had been trying to run—from myself, my thoughts, my reality. Then came last Friday, when after weeks of discomfort a problematic molar finally had to be yanked out, and with it came a significant amount of infection that had been hidden between the roots.

The extraction was actually somewhat painful. An hour’s worth of attempts to anesthetize the area had met with only partial success. So by the time I arrived home, I was feeling just a bit sorry for myself, and eventually a few tears gave way to a waterfall and I was pouring out my lament to God, finally confessing my frustrations, my regrets, my heart that was breaking from words spoken to me and by me, a heart breaking from my own failures and the failures of others. Literally and figuratively, it was a watershed moment.

But that moment was just the beginning. The entire weekend was punctuated by times of tears as I dealt more directly and more humbly with my regrets of the past months and even the past years. God kept at me, relentlessly yet beautifully: a conversation with my dear friend Lisa about laying it all out before God and trusting Him to cleanse, heal and forgive; a night of live worship, soul-stirring music and prayer led Chris Tomlin, Matt Redmond, Max Lucado and others at The Forum. Many rich words, many bittersweet tears.

Through it all, there was a sense that God was moving, that the infection that had been pervading my soul was being slowly extracted, not as quickly as the infection that had been yanked out with the tooth, but it was being extracted nonetheless.

And it didn’t stop there. I encountered Henri Nouwen’s book The Way of the Heart and was blown away by what I found there:

The struggle is real because the danger is real. It is the danger of living the whole of our life as one long defense against the reality of our condition, one restless effort to convince ourselves of our virtuousness…

The encounter with Christ does not take place before, after, or beyond the struggle with our false self and its demons. No, it is precisely in the midst of this struggle that our Lord comes to us…

Only in the context of grace can we face our sin; only in the place of healing do we dare to show our wounds; only with a single-minded attention to Christ can we give up our clinging fears and face our own true nature.

This is a journey. In reality, it’s a journey I’ve been on for quite some time. I’ve taken a number of detours, and I’ve circled the same area more than once. But it feels so good to once again take in the richness of the written word, to delight in Niequist’s essays on life, friendship and food, to be touched to the core by Nouwen’s wise, insightful counsel that seems meant just for me.

Words. Words of life, words of hope, words spoken by friends, words penned by strangers and set tomusic or placed in print.

Words all used by God.

I’m taking them in again—in part due to an infected tooth—and I am so immensely grateful.

Tammy Gonzalez is a wife, mom to three kids (one of whom is already in heaven), and a teacher to the homebound in Southern California. One of her greatest delights is seeing how God fits together the details of our lives in awe-inspiring ways–through random conversations or the voice of nature, through world events or ordinary moments, through heights of joy or depths of despair.

You can connect with Tammy at her blog, Seeking What’s of Worth, or on Facebook

Tamara Gonzalez@seekingwhatsofworth

What Does Fighting For Hope Look Like?

When I go running, this hill is my nemesis. It really shouldn’t be called a hill, because “hill” is a pleasant word. This land feature is a specimen of suffering, whose purpose is to inflict pain. It steadily inclines and curves so that when I think I’ve reached the top, I’ve really just hit the bottom of the next incline.

Sometimes I hit this hill with gusto. I lean into the incline and focus on making it to the top. Sometimes I walk up the hill, enduring the incline and reminding myself that I can make it to the top. If I sprained my ankle on the way up the hill, I would painfully hurple up the hill. As long as I keep moving forward I know I will make it to the top.

The way I tackle this hill looks a lot like the way I fight for hope. Sometimes I fight for hope by pushing back the darkness, strong and warrior-like, with a victorious war cry. Sometimes I move slowly forward, whispering against the darkness, enduring the battle, hoping it will end soon. And many times I hurple. Last week I hope-hurpled as I ate a container of chocolate icing while writing about hope. Speaking truth to myself is good. Stress-eating on chocolate… yeah, that’s a hurple.

But no matter how I fight, with the war cry or the whisper, and even with a chocolate covered spoon in my hand, I am still fighting.

Each time you and I choose truth over the lies of the darkness, we are fighting for hope.

We fight for hope when:

We order a salad at Wendy’s instead of the #1 Combo super sized with everything fried.

We speak truth.

We file for divorce after years of manipulation, affairs, abuse.

We do something that scares us, like audition for a musical, or run a 5K.

We set a goal of losing weight and move toward that goal one meal at a time.

We don’t give in to despair as we walk with a loved one through cancer.

We believe God can bring beauty into hopeless circumstances.

These are just a few of the ways I’ve seen Hope Warriors in my life fight for hope. These are all completely different, but three truths form the foundation of each decision:

I am worth fighting for.

I don’t want to live numb anymore.

This battle will change my life and the lives of those around me for good.

Fighting for hope looks different for everyone. It can also look different for the same person in different moments. That’s why the guest posts in this series are so important.

Sharing our stories is powerful. Sharing our stories awakens the courage, compassion, and hope that is inside each one of us. Seeing someone else fight for hope shows us that the fight is possible for us as well.