Erin Ulerich

The Unfolding of the Ultimate Story

There has been a great wrestling going on in my soul.

Truth vs. feelings, hope vs. grief.

Even after writing such a hope-filled post, Restored Before the Face of God, there are moments when the grief and loss drown out hope.

My brain is still trying to wrap around the tragedy while my heart feels the great loss. Last week I sat in my home in Mississippi and watched the procession and funeral taking place in India. It was dark here while India had already moved on to the next day.

I watched men place their caskets into ambulance-type vehicles while people around them sang in their language. The video showed huge banners with their pictures covering each vehicle. As I read the quote on each banner, the wrestling within me intensified.

“My purpose in life is to serve the Lord by serving among His people and taking care of their health needs (in India).” – Sharron Naik

“I want to be a minister back in my country (India), like my dad and serve my Nation.” – Aaron Naik

“I want to go back to India and be involved with the law/politics and I want to spend my time defending the truth of Christianity and the Bible.” – Joy Naik

The wrestling grows stronger because I desperately want this tragedy to make sense. But nothing about this adds up. These three loved the Lord and had plans to go back to India to serve Him. They were part of the Banjara people group, a group where less than 1% are Christians. If we are talking about progress in spreading the Gospel, doesn’t it make more sense to have them alive, telling others about Christ? Were their hopes and dreams just a waste?

I know that I’m not the only one who is wrestling deep within. We live in a broken world and we all have circumstances in our lives where things don’t makes sense. Where 1+1=3 no matter how much we try to figure it out. In all the tears, the heart-wrenching wails, the fists clenched in anger, our soul wrestling comes down to one question:

What kind of God are You?

There.

I said it.

This is a question we might whisper over a coffee conversation with our closest friend, but we’d never ask it out loud at church. People typically don’t like questions like this, because it feels wrong to question God.

But I think God loves it when we ask this question.

When we get down to the rock-bottom, nitty-gritty and finally ask this question it is because all the things we’ve been leaning on, all the ideas we’ve created about God, have FAILED. It means that the god we’ve created in our image, the god that we work to please in hopes that he will love us or at least answer our prayers is POWERLESS. It means that, maybe for the first time, we are actually seeking God for who He says He is.

As we seek Him we can ask ALL the questions we need to ask. I have found that God doesn’t really match my “whys” with reasons. Instead He shows me more of who He is. Through my grief He shows me that He is the God of all comfort, that He really is near to the brokenhearted and is gentle with those who are hurting. He meets my needs, showing me that He provides for His children.

How do we seek God? Where can we find a clear picture of who He is and what He is like? We can find Him in the Word, because it contains His words to us about Himself. And through the Word made flesh, because Jesus shows us what God is like.

At Sharron, Aaron, and Joy’s funeral, Ravi Zacharias described God’s compassion through Jesus when He raised Lazarus from the dead.

“Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, and yet He stood in front of that tomb and wept. Why? Why did the Lord of Glory and the Lord of hope shed those tears? Because He knew what you and I would feel at the loss of a loved one, having to wait over a period of time before we would see the ultimate story revealed. He knew the pain that you and I would endure.”

Because of His compassion, God can strengthen and sustain us in our grief. “We have a suffering Savior, a wounded Savior, and for the wounded heart, the wounded Savior is the best answer, the best source of sustenance” (Ravi Zacharias)

Dr. Zacharias goes on to describe Jesus feeling abandoned by God when He was on the cross. “At the very moment He thought He was abandoned and forsaken, He was actually in the center of His Father’s Will, providing for you and for me, so that the greater death – which is spiritual death – would not be that which we endure.”

The very depth of Christ’s sufferings was the way that the Ultimate Story could happen. His suffering opened the way for our redemption and our eternal life with God, instead of eternal death removed from God.

“His Word abides forever and pulls the whole story together and all of the threads that may look desperate- it brings them together to a perfect design that He had in mind. Your young, precious children, Sharron, Joy, and Aaron. The threads were in God’s Hand, every day designed for them was already written in the Book before it ever came to be. He gave you the joy of having them for those few years. Three precious gems. They are now in the Presence of the Lord laying their treasures at His feet.” (Ravi Zacharias)

Hearing the truth proclaimed at the funeral service didn’t answer all my questions, but it did calm some of the wrestling as it brought my eyes back to God’s character, His love, and His perspective. His Ultimate Story is written in love with one goal in mind – bringing people into relationship with Himself. This tragedy, this loss, will be redeemed into a powerful, beautiful chapter as His story unfolds.

Restored Before the Face of God

Reconciliation means to restore before the face of God. This word is hitting me hard right now. Our family and community are grieving the tragic deaths of three of our students and friends. These dear friends are face-to-face with God, still serving the Lord they loved. Death touched their bodies, but could not separate them from God’s love.

The greatest rescue mission in the world didn’t end with the rescue. It marked the beginning of God’s ultimate plan for His beloved creation: Reconciliation.

Reconciliation means to restore before the face of God. We are rescued in order to be reconciled with God. We are reconciled so that we can experience what our hearts were created for- intimacy with Him.

Reconciliation flows from God’s heart. Throughout the Old Testament we see His desire to be in relationship with His people. Over and over He said, “I will be their God, and they will be my people.” Our salvation through Jesus makes the way so that we can follow Him, love Him, feel His love for us, and one day, come before Him face-to-face.

The word reconciliation is hitting me hard during this season. Our family and community are walking through grief following the tragic deaths of three of our students and friends. This sudden loss impacts the dorms they lived in, the church they worshipped in, and the school they attended. It impacts churches and communities around the world who knew and loved them.

This sudden loss creates a vacuum for all the plans they had for the future. Sharron, Aaron, and Joy Naik loved the Lord and wanted to serve Him with their lives.

And all those plans are gone.

Or are they?

God’s desire to be reconciled with His people was so great that He sent His Son to pay for their sins, so that we could be in relationship with Him.

If God’s heart desire is to bring us face-to-face with Him, does He long for His children to be with Him? Is that why Psalm 116:15 says Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints? The word used for precious can also be translated as valuable. Is the death of His saints of great value because it marks the completion of the work He began in them? Is it of great value because it means that they can finally experience life as He intended it to be?

The enemy cannot tempt Sharron, Aaron, and Joy any more, he cannot whisper lies into their ears. He cannot touch them at all because they are in God’s presence. They are fully at peace with God. And they are worshipping Him with a nature made whole and a heart set free.

They are still serving the God they loved. Even death could not bring that to an end. Is this what it means in 1 Corinthians when it says death is swallowed up in victory?

And what about us? The ones grieving this great loss on this side of heaven?

The work God began in you and me is not yet complete. Is it possible that their death is a part of the process of God working deep within our hearts? Is it possible that these events could unlock parts of our hearts that we have kept closed off to God? Is it possible that God could bring beauty and joy from this tragedy?

I believe it is.

Our three dear friends came to us from Hyderabad, India, a city of 6.81 million. They had to adjust to our small community in French Camp, Mississippi with a population of less than 200. And many of the cultural differences between the two places were confusing. Today they are in the culture they were made for, no need for adjusting, no culture shock, because they are finally home.

Who Needs Jesus? The Ones Needing Rescue

Light broke into the darkness with an impossibility, a virgin with child. Its beacon was a bright star, and the Rescuer was a baby.

The Navy SEAL team crept through the woods with one goal in mind.

Rescue the hostage.

They slipped into the water of the swamp surrounding the enemy’s camp. One shot the guard on the pier while another caught his body and carefully lowered it into the murky water without a single splash.

They moved closer into enemy territory, searching for the CIA operative, hoping she was still alive.

Enemy soldiers rushed toward them, around corners, shooting through windows. And still they pressed forward, their goal in sight.

As one team member gently reassured her and picked up her beaten and bruised body, other team members pushed the enemy back.

The SEAL team got out of camp with the enemy’s gunfire zinging all around them. The enemy wasn’t going to give her up without a fight.

And neither was the SEAL team, because she was worth rescuing.

This rescue scene in Act of Valor always leaves me tense and breathless, even though I’ve seen it a thousand times. Honestly, it’s the only part of the movie I’ve seen because my husband (who LOVES this movie) calls me in to watch it every time he watches the movie. The last 5 minutes are glorious because it ends with the enemy’s truck looking like huge chunks of Swiss cheese.

But it also leaves me breathless because it is an example of how God rescues us from darkness. Before we ever whisper God, please save me, before we see that we need to be rescued, an intricate back story has taken place. A back story that involved the greatest rescue mission ever.

It’s a back story that sounds like a movie plot. A war between good and evil, between the Creator of the Universe and His enemy who desperately wants to rule that same Universe. But it’s better than any movie plot because it’s real.

God created this beautiful world, and created man and woman, made in His image. He put in the human race a need for relationship, connection, belonging.

Then God’s enemy turned His people against Him.

And even in the messy, sorrowful aftermath, God promised to send One who would crush the head of evil. With those words God breathed a whisper of hope, a promise of a rescue.

Through all the years God reminded His people. He whispered words of hope, words of Someone who was coming to save them.

He planned the greatest rescue mission ever.

Light broke into the darkness with an impossibility, a virgin with child. Its beacon was a bright star, and the Rescuer was a baby. God didn’t go in with guns blazing, but as the most vulnerable of all creatures.

Everything changed when the light broke into the darkness. The people who were looking for Jesus to come saw the beginning of the fulfillment of God’s whisper of hope. The greatest rescue began with His birth that night in Bethlehem and progressed in His death on the cross, and was complete when He rose from the dead, bringing peace.

Not peace between good and evil, but peace between God and the people He created. This rescue mission was to get His creation, His beloved, out of the enemy’s hold.

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Where are you today? Does the thought of being rescued and having peace with God seem far-fetched? Do you feel you are too far gone, out of God’s reach?

Let this crazy truth sink in. Jesus left the perfection of heaven, stepped into time and history to carry out this rescue mission with you in mind.

You are loved by God, made in His image, made for connection, belonging, and love.

You are worth fighting for and you were made to live in the light.

The Weight of Guilt, the Need of a Savior

The Reagan family on Blue Bloods are my people, my almost-family. When Jamie worked undercover, I worried like a big sister. I celebrated when he and Edie got engaged, and I’m still mad at the writers for the tragic death of Danny’s wife, Linda.

And the daughter’s name is Erin, so that makes us practically family, right?

Now,they are very different from my real family. We live in Mississippi, they live in New York. We have relatively safe jobs, they are in law enforcement. But the bond between them reminds me of my family, the way the siblings are all so different, and the way they love each other deep down, even when they don’t agree.

I also love how this show uses the power of story to show both sides of real situations that can’t always be solved before the end credits.

In Season 8, episode 9, a man was released after serving his time in jail. He moved into an apartment building, ready to re-start his life, but no one wanted him there.

You see, he had been in prison for molesting children, and the apartment building he moved into had many children. He ends up being severely beaten by one of the dads in the building, and at the end of the episode he tells Erin and Danny, “I did my time, but I’m still guilty. There’s no absolution for what I’ve done.”

The years he spent in jail fulfilled the consequences the justice system deemed appropriate. But those years did not replace what he had taken from those children. It didn’t free him from guilt in other people’s eyes, or even his own. The court said he was free, but he was more trapped outside of jail than he had ever been inside.

The law uses the words guilty and free, but our hearts carry the weight of those words. In reality, the world offered him no hope, no solution. He was ruined, stuck, and helpless to change that status.

And this is exactlywhere the enemy of our soul wants us. He dangles temptation in front of us, promises that we will be liked, respected, found worthy if we listen to him. He is called the deceiver of the whole world because he gets us to this stuck place and offers no way out from the weight of our sin.

Satan deceives us, traps us, and leaves us there.

There is a weight to sin. Guilt feels heavy on our shoulders and in our gut. We want to feel clean again. We want to erase the guilt, to undo the things we’ve done. But we can’t. We are like a kid with muddy hands trying to wipe mud off of a clean sheet. No matter how hard we try, we just keep spreading the mud around.

We need a refuge from the weight, we need a safe place, protection from our accuser.

The world can’t offer us refuge.

But God can because He is our refuge.

The world can’t offer us a way to erase our guilt.

But God can, because He sent a Person to remove our guilt.

The world can’t offer forgiveness or redemption.

But God can, because he sent a Redeemer.

The character in Blue Bloods was right. There is no absolution apart from Christ. In Christ there is forgiveness, there is absolution, there is moving forward.

The Gospel is called the Good News because it breaks the sin cycle we are stuck in. The only action that offers forgiveness and accomplishes absolution is the work of Jesus – His perfect life, His death on the cross that paid for our sins. The Gospel is the answer to our entrapment. It is Good News because it sets us free – the way we were meant to live.

“Jesus Christ was born into this world, not from it. He came into history from the outside of history; He did not evolve out of history. Our Lord’s birth was an advent; He did not come from the human race, He came into it from above. Jesus Christ is not the best human being; He is a Being Who cannot be accounted for by the human race at all. He is God incarnate; not man becoming God, but God coming into human flesh, coming into it from the outside. ” – – Oswald Chambers, The Psychology of Redemption

Who Needs Jesus?

So who in this broken world needed Jesus to come?
The hurting, the broken, the running, the far away, the pretenders, the wounded, the helpless, the guilty, the trapped, the ones needing to be rescued. The baby in the manger makes it possible for every heart to have peace with God.

Stefani Carmichael got me thinking about the world Jesus stepped into on that first Christmas in her post The World Jesus Enters.

It was a broken world, like ours.

What about the people? What were they like? Did they need Jesus to come?

They were a lot like you and me, like the people we see at Walmart, in the line at the bank, and the ones we work out next to in the gym. People looking to rules, religion, or relationships for purpose.

This broken world has been filled with hurting, broken people for a very long time.

Let’s scoot back to the beginning where the story really begins.

The backdrop of the manger scene is the Garden of Eden. That is where our need for a Savior began.

God created this beautiful world, and created man and woman in His image. As part of His image, He wove into our DNA a need for relationship, connection, belonging.

Satan didn’t bring an army in and confront God head-on. Instead, he slithered in and convinced Eve that the face-to-face relationship she had with God wasn’t enough. His words cast a shadow in her mind about the goodness, love, and intention of God.

O how he must have celebrated as she and Adam bit into that fruit. The precious souls God created and loved had rejected Him. With that bite the beautiful world God spoke into being became enemy territory.

“The serpent told the human race that disobeying God was the only way to realize their fullest happiness and potential, and this delusion has sunk deep into every human heart.” – TIm Keller

The world God made grew dark, the people He loved grew blind. His people became deaf to His words and the enemy’s hold on them grew stronger and stronger.

The people made in God’s image, made for connection, belonging, and love, knew, even while sitting in the darkness that something was missing.

They yearned deeply for what they were made for, even though they had been in the darkness for so long that they didn’t know what to call it. They only knew something was missing and they couldn’t find it in themselves.

Some turned to worshipping idols, literally turning pieces of wood and stone into objects of worship. Some turned to worshipping life in this world, living in the moment, keeping busy, or filling their lives with pleasure. Some turned to worshipping control with rigid rule keeping.

All this worship was an effort to stop the yearning and longing. But only one Person could fulfill that longing for connection, belonging, and love.

Because God is the only one who can answer this longing, He is the only one who can set His people free.

That freedom began with a baby. Jesus, who takes away the sins of the world.

He saves us from our sins. Not just the ones we think are really bad, but our daily sins, our daily hurts, our daily messes. He is with us.

The baby in the manger makes it possible for every heart to have peace with God.

So who in this broken world needed Jesus to come?

The hurting, the broken, the running, the far away, the pretenders, the wounded, the helpless, the guilty, the trapped, the ones needing to be rescued.

We need Jesus. And we are the reason He came.

Surviving a Southern Family Get-Together

In the South, holidays mean family gatherings. They may last for an entire day, a weekend, or even a week. No matter the duration, there are sure to be certain ingredients.

At any Southern family gathering there will be food. The best food you have ever tasted.

There are also likely to be a healthy supply of fireworks.

There will also be football, which means a game will actually be playing on a TV somewhere in the house or people will spend a good amount of time talking about football, or both.

And there will be talking. Lots of talking.

If you are new to the family, you may get trapped in a corner by a well meaning relative who wants to show you the scar from her recent surgery, or to tell you a random detail about a relative you’ve never met. Just smile, nod, and use your manners. (Yes Ma’m and No Ma’m)

Where a family gathers, there will be storytelling.

Whether your family sits on chairs scattered around the porch, around a formal dining room table, or on 5 gallon buckets around a bonfire, story swapping is going to happen. It is important to know two important rules of storytelling in the South.

Rule Number 1: Embellishing is allowed, as long as you keep a few of the key details intact. For example: It really was Bubba’s pond that you caught that fish on, but the size of the fish and the fury of the fight may differ each time you tell it, depending on your audience and beverage you are consuming. If you are drinking anything stronger than sweet tea, the sky’s the limit!

If anyone asks “Did it really happen like that?” it is perfectly acceptable to smile and say “Sure it did,” “Dang straight!”, or a similar variation. Everyone knows a least one part of your story isn’t accurate; they just don’t know which part. And that is exactly the point.

Rule Number 2: The second rule, often learned through painful trial and error, is Do not interrupt the storyteller or suddenly become overly concerned with the accuracy of the facts. This will ruin the flow of the story and Uncle Jim will begin his story again from the beginning. Or, worse, alter the ending so that it lasts longer. A lot longer.

Meeting the Grandmother

If you are being introduced into a Southern family, this is important! Southern Grandmothers have the ability to size you up and decide if you are worth your weight in salt in one glance. You will know immediately if you have been placed on the scales and found wanting. And it is nearly impossible to reverse this decision unless you bless her with beautiful grandbabies down the road.

Besides your own worth, where you are from is also very important. Therefore, it is vital that you know as much as you can about your family history. It is best if you can trace your heritage back before the Mayflower. A true Southern grandmother will spend no less than 15 minutes trying to connect you with someone she knows. It’s an intense game of 6 degrees of separation, and your acceptance into the family is at stake.

Be sure to say Yes Ma’m and No ma’m. If you fail at the family history game, this may save your hide.

I grew up going to Southern family gatherings, so I think they are awesome. They are the only place you can be simultaneously interrogated and hugged to death. It’s one of the few places where you are surrounded by people who have known you your whole life and still love you. They are the place where family stories come to life, and new memories are made.

I would love to hear your family stories, embellished or not. Leave a comment below and we can raise a glass of sweet tea (or whatever is in that container behind Granny’s kitchen door) together in honor of our families!

Y’all have a great day!

Fighting For Hope Through Waves of Grief

Missing Robert

Grief is a tricky beast. It hides and makes you think you’ve “dealt”, you’ve “moved on”, and then it hits out of nowhere like a tsunami on a sunny day.

We don’t talk about him very much, but we miss him.

I miss the way he said “Well, hello there!” when he called around this time each year to get ideas for the kids’ Christmas presents.

Over the past 2 years, there have been plenty of What ifs, plenty of What could have been done conversations, but the bottom line is that while he didn’t he make the choice to die from his drug use, he made the decision to use drugs.

He made the decision to refuse help. “No program is going to help me,” he said, and that is when I knew he had decided to stop fighting for hope.

It was a decision that defied logic. He had been clean for years, so many years that my children only knew the fun Uncle Robert.

The Uncle Robert who helped them catch fireflies in the summer and who shot a zillion fireworks with them on New Year’s Eve.

It was a decision that led down a dark path, a path filled with cover-ups, half truths, and out right lies.

It was a decision that robbed us of our brother, friend, uncle, and son.

It was also a decision borne out of a daily battle to stay on the right path, a million unseen, un-applauded decisions made over the years of being sober. A battle he fought on his own.

He didn’t have to fight alone. We, his family, would have loved to celebrate victories with him. We would have loved to applaud his successes.

But we didn’t see the burden he carried until it was too late.

By the time we saw, his mind had already been turned upside down. By then, he had bought the lie that our words of hope and encouragement hid ulterior motives and that his drug dealer friends were the only ones who could be trusted.

Isn’t that the biggest twist of irony?

The people cooking the poison that killed him had convinced him that he was no longer alone because they had rescued him when no one else would.

The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. That is the game plan he followed with Robert, and the story he seeks to write for all of us through all kinds of addictions. If our enemy can keep our focus on numbing the pain in our life, he keeps our focus off of living the life we were meant to live.

Life that gives hope, that looks forward to the future, that believes that change is possible.

So many of Robert’s years were marked by his struggle, but that struggle was not who he was. He was self-less to a fault, fun to be around, and he loved his kids. That’s the legacy I choose to remember.

At the same time, I can’t ignore his last months and days. They are filled with somber warning. They remind me that when I listen to the lies of the dark, when I give in to my own struggles and try to numb out, I am one decision away from stepping on the same path that stole him from us.

Helping Others Fight for Hope

I am excited to have Stefani Carmichael as a guest today. Not only is Stefani is one of the Hope Warriors in my life, she is also a Hope Warrior in the lives of the teen girls that live in her dorm.

She is gifted at helping the girls see the lies that they are believing, and encouraging them to replace those lies with truth. For some of these girls, she is the first person in their lives to teach them how to fight for hope, especially when their circumstances feel hopeless.

Stefani also blogs at heartsoulstrengthandmind.com , so be sure to jump over to her site and check it out.

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Helping Others Fight for Hope

What is harder than being in a black hole?

Harder than being in the middle of a fog in your life and not seeing your way out?

In my experience, the only thing harder than that is seeing those you love sink down into that pit and knowing you cannot pull them out.

Recognizing that you cannot pull someone out of the pit is really the first step of being able to help them. I learned this the hard way. If you will expend all your energy trying to pull them out, you might get pulled into it in the process.

At the same time, you can help someone who needs hope. You cannot force them to have hope. You can’t manhandle them into feeling better.

You can inspire, encourage, and support them in their fight. You are not Rocky Balboa, you are one of those in his corner.

I am approaching this topic with lessons I have learned through experience. In the process of gaining experience we often make mistakes along the way, and I certainly have. When I write about what not to do, it’s because I have probably done it at some point in my life. I hope anytime I have made mistakes in this area, that those battling with me will extend me grace and understand the heart I have had to help.

It would be incredibly difficult to help someone fight for hope if you have never been in a situation in which you felt hopeless. I imagine we have all been to that place, but if such a time doesn’t come to mind, you might first want to take a step back and remember.

When you remember the weight of your own battle, you will be better equipped to support someone in their own time of need.

This time of remembering prepares you to listen.

This sounds easy, but Iistening well is often the hardest part. When someone you love is in a pit, you want so much for them to be out and back to normal. You may be tempted to think you know what is wrong and just jump to solutions. Don’t.

You may even know what they need to do. You may even understand. But telling them is not going to get them where they need to be. Because someone who is hopeless is not going to automatically believe you know what you are talking about and can help them.

From their perspective, there is no way out.

From their perspective, things could probably not look any bleaker.

For them to listen to any suggestions or advice, they first have to know you understand the serious position they are in. You show them this by intently listening to them, rephrasing what they have said to make sure you really do understand.

This process is also essential, because you may not understand as much as you think you do. You may have experienced a similar situation, but that doesn’t mean that your pain is the same as their pain.

There is no timeline for how long you stay in this stage with someone. There may be a lot of listening involved with some people before they believe you understand.

It may take one conversation or several before you get to the point to move forward.

When you understand well, it is time to share. The point of sharing is not to say, “That’s nothing, look at all I have been through.” Its not to compare pain. If it comes off looking this way to the person who is struggling, it will do more harm than good.

The point of sharing is to let the other person know you also have suffered in your life, and while it may have been a very different situation, you found your way out of the suffering.

This is the point where you can begin to offer hope.

The hope comes in the message that if you walked through the blackness and found yourself back in the light, against all appearances, they also can find themselves in the light again.

This doesn’t have to come from just your story. The Bible is full of stories of those who were in seemingly hopeless situations, sometimes for a very long time, before God’s deliverance.

The stories of Abraham, Joseph, the Israelites in the wilderness, Ruth, Esther, Nehemiah, and countless others attest to incredibly bleak situations that did not remain bleak.

God’s word provides encouragement to those who are in the middle of dark places. These stories entailed long periods of difficulty and do not look anything like the band-aid fixes people often offer those in the middle of serious struggles.

People in the middle of difficulty don’t need to be led into a false hope that everything will change quickly. They need a surer hope that keeps them moving when they do not see the end of their struggle in sight.

They need the hope of a 75-year-old Abraham who still doesn’t have the child of promise and won’t for over 20 more years. They need the hope of Joseph whose troubles did not end with his promotion as a slave, or even when the chief cupbearer was restored to his position. They need the hope of Esther who saw a 360 degree change from complete despair to rejoicing overnight.

Point them to the Hope-Giver

All these stories offer hope because situations changed dramatically. Dark situations are so pivotal, because in the middle of them we can give ourselves over to despair if we let ourselves.

The stories above do not simply offer hope because they show that we might find our situation change if we just keep going. They offer hope because the people in these situations have a relationship with the Hope-Giver.

The God who we can trust, who has the power to change things for our good gives hope, because he is the only one who can really change our darkest situations.

At the beginning, I wrote how understanding that you can’t pull someone out of their dark pit is essential in offering hope. But, it is also essential to understand that God can.

God is fully able to change things. And he gives promises to do just that. When a fellow brother or sister in Christ is in the pit, you can offer hope-giving promises to them.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

This verse is used so much for a very good reason. It has inspired people in their darkest hours for centuries. If you love God, this verse is a message of hope for you. Its not a band-aid to stick on a problem. It shouldn’t be thrown to someone before you have sat with them in their grief. All of Romans 8 is an encouragement to those who suffer deeply. If you read it through in entirety you see in verse 38 that this promise meant for the most difficult of situations:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38

We are hearing this from a man who is currently under house arrest, has faced beatings and being pelted with stones. He has survived a shipwreck and has a perpetual “thorn in the flesh.” Paul knows suffering when he writes this.

Do something Tangible

God’s sovereignty is a huge comfort, but it is not an excuse for inaction. You know you can’t lift someone from their pit, but you can help.

The good Samaritan did not pass by, and if our heart is aligned with God’s heart, neither will we.

Pray and ask God to show you what you can do in the person’s situation. It may be as small as flowers, or as big as getting church leaders involved to help someone financially beyond what you are capable. Sometimes there are actions we can do to help another significantly in their distress. While you don’t want to enable destructive patterns, there is a time and place for significant help.

Tangible assistance can also be things that help with their mental battle—these things need not be physical. Perhaps they are believing lies that are destructive. Have them write them out on paper, and then work with them to change each lie to a true statement that offers hope.

Walk with them

Finally, stay in the picture. Hope warriors are in a battle. Don’t just show up for the first round of the fight, stick around to see the victory.

They may need help planning steps in the right direction. Have them write out their goals and see if there are proactive steps they can take now to move in that direction. Help them plan those steps in, and cheer for them when they get past an obstacle or do something that leads them in the right direction.

There will be days when they will struggle again. They will need fresh encouragement along the way. We are all works in progress, but thankfully God’s work in us will one day be complete.

Pray

Throughout the entire process, pray. God is the one who can change things. He is the one who can give hope. He is the one who can give wisdom both to you and to the one struggling. Cry out to him, and rely on the promises he gives to his children.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Stefani Carmichael is an author, counselor, wife, daughter, mom and houseparent of teenage girls. She blogs at heartsoulstrengthandmind.com

Fighting for Hope When Things Don’t Make Sense

When the kids were little they would often say, “Mama, tell me a story!”

I would begin, “Once upon a time there were three little pigs. One built his house out of LEGOs, one built his house out of candy…”

“That’s not the way the story goes!” The kids would giggle. Or, if they weren’t in silly moods, they would cross their arms and grouch. “No! Tell it right.”

It was fun to mix up the stories. But these day I feel like I am in a story that isn’t going the way I think it should.

As I look through the Bible, I see that I’m not alone. God has always had a way of doing unexpected things. He often chose the smallest, the weakest, the most unusual way.

He promised Abraham that he would be the father of a great nation when Abraham and Sarah were too old to even have children. And then had them wait for years before Isaac was born.

He put David, the young shepherd boy, against the giant Goliath holding only a sling and a few stones.

I love reading these accounts in the Bible. I love the way God shows His power through these situations. But living out these types of stories in the year 2017 is another matter altogether. When the events are happening In real time it’s harder to trace the hand of God through the shadowy twists and turns.

In the midst of these shadows my heart whispers, “This isn’t the way the story goes, is it, God?”

And in the midst of my confusion, even as I’m questioning God, I am looking in the right direction.

When I don’t understand what God is doing, I can lean toward Him and ask. And I have. In the dark of night, in the light of day, I have asked question after question.

I’m sure you have, too.

I fully believe God can handle our asking, our ranting, our anger. I’ve found that when I seek Him, He answers gently, not through direct answers to my questions, but in revealing more about Himself.

These times make me ask Do I really know God? Do I know Him for who He says He is or do I know the version I’ve made up?

Because in these confusing times, the version we make up isn’t going to stand. These confusing times cause us to question God, to really look at Him, maybe for the first time.

He knows we don’t really need “because” statements to match our “whys”. We need Him.

Knowing God leads to trust. The more we know Him, and the more we know His tender love for us, the more we can trust His Hand in our lives.

And as I fix my gaze on who He is and who I am to Him, I find that I can trust Him with the unknown. I find that I can say, “I don’t know why this is happening, but I do know You. And I will trust what You are doing.” I can cling to his promise of His steadfast love and plentiful redemption.

Because at the heart of God, is this:

For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. (Colossians 1:19-20, ESV)

At the heart of God, the driving force behind His actions is to reconcile, to restore. To bring His people before His face. He works in and through the brokenness of this world to bring about wholeness in Him. Through the grief, through the tragedy, we can track His heart.

What does this matter? How does it connect with fighting for hope?

My measure of God is the measure of my hope. If I believe God is small, powerless, unable to save – my hope will be, at best, based on my current mood.

But if I see His majesty and power, in Scripture and in my life, my hope will be an anchor that keeps me steady in spite of mood or circumstance.

Hope that anchors reminds us of His promises. Hope that anchors reminds us of His character. Hope that anchors reminds us who we are to Him. This hope gives us strength to continue fighting, even when things don’t make sense.

Reaching Out and Fighting Doubt

If God’s vision for the helpless includes you and me, where do we even begin?

Let’s start with those doubting thoughts niggling away in your mind. I know, I had them too. But God placed a child and her adoptive process right in front of me. I wanted to be involved, and God wanted me to wade through these doubts and watch Him provide.

Doubt #1: If I can’t solve the problem, why even try? I wrote about wrestling with this question in the post Stretching Out a Hand of Relief.

Doubt #2: It’s such a big problem. 153 millions orphans! What can one person do to make a difference? Not much on their own. But one person can join with others who are reaching out by:

Supporting Organizations Reaching Out To Orphans & Children in Difficult Situations

Heritage Ukraine – Odessa, Ukraine

Read more about the amazing ministry of Heritage Ukraine in the post

Heritage Ukraine: A Light in Dark Places

Hispanola Mountain Ministries – Haiti and the Dominican Republic

French Camp Academy – French Camp, MS

Sponsoring Children in Difficult Situations

Hope for the Fatherless– Ethiopia

Compassion International

Cross Mountain Mission Legacy Centers – Nicaragua

Providing funding for homes for orphans who are too old to live in the orphanage.

Orphan Mission Transition Homes – Ukraine

Jeremiah’s Hope – Hope Market

Considering adoption

Walking beside a family in the adoption process.

The adoption process is filled with mountains of paperwork, moments of doubt, and uncertainty that all will work out. An adoptive family needs a network of friends who will pray for them, encourage them, and help them raise the necessary finances.

This post tells the story of an adoption process our family was incredibly blessed to be a part of: FIshes, Loaves, and Cookie Dough